A ridiculous lie
by dreamingpickle
Summary: In a world where Primrose was never reaped for the 74th Hunger games, yet Katniss still volunteered. Why? An immunity for a Victor's family is too tempting to say no to. Katniss goes into the games prepared but nothing could've prepared her for surviving with eight other tributes, especially with the brute from 2. AU.
1. Chapter 1

It would be a ridiculous lie to say that I'm not afraid. Terribly unbelievable even. My shaking hands and unsteady steps towards the stage acts as unbearable proof of that. In an attempt to hide my nervousness as I take my spot on stage next to that ludicrous looking woman, I tie my hands behind my back and square my shoulders. I cast my gaze upwards, above the crowd of painfully familiar people. I cannot find it in my to look any of them in the eyes or else I fear I may start to regret my decision and that is something I cannot afford to do if I wish to ever return here. I am frightened of what I may see if I gaze upon them and happen to meet a familiar gaze. Will they look at me with distaste for the choice I made or with admiration? Understanding? I doubt it.

"Oh how exciting." Effie, the lady clad in more pink than any person should be allowed to wear, almost screeches besides me. She sounds as though this is the best thing that has ever happened to her. Maybe it is. Who even knows with the people from the Capitol?

"Our very first volunteer from District 12. What an honor for your district to have someone such as yourself. Describe what you're feeling." She says and practically shoves the diamond covered mic in my face. I spare her not even a glance as I indifferently answer her.

"Excited." I state but my voice says anything but. She awaits for me to say something else but I remain stoic. When she realises that I'm not going to elaborate, she hastily takes the mic and continues.

"Well, you've certainly surprised us all. A round of applause for Katniss Everdeen, let's hope she brings great glory to District 12!" But no applause can be heard. In fact, it's quiet enough that one could even hear a pin drop. Not a single person in the audience does anything. I dare only to glance at the big screen for I am too frightened to meet the gaze of any. They all stare at the stage, at me, with empty and distasteful eyes. My gaze quickly averts back towards nothingness.

The cloud of pink besides me hurriedly continues so the people of District 12's rebellious act will be forgotten.

"And our male tribute of the 74th Hunger Games is…" She fumbles around in the glass bowl far longer than necessary. She finally settles on a piece of paper that contains the name of a boy that will most likely die. Whose death is imperative if I want to continue breathing.

"Peeta Mellark!" She shouts and my eyes immediately finds the screen where Peeta's face is in close-up. I sigh sadly. Of course he would be the one getting reaped the year I volunteer. He looks as if he's about to cry and though I hate myself for it, I cannot help but to find his obvious display of weakness a bit embarrassing. I grow angry at both for myself for my mean train of thoughts but also at Peeta. Partly for confirming the general idea that our District and its citizens are weak but also because he does nothing to better his chances at winning. The Capitol only support those who they think might have a chance, and Peeta's actions does nothing to garner him any good attention right now. I owe Peeta my life and though I am not willing to give him it, I want him to win if I die.

This time, the audience applauds for they would not dare to do something as rebellious again, and Peeta did not volunteer.

We're quickly ushered off stage and into the Justice building, where we're graced with what will for twenty three of us, be our final goodbye's.

I look around the plush room, never having been in a room as luxurious as this before. A heavy, blue fabric seems to be the theme of this room. Velvet I think it's called. I can dimply recall my mother letting me wear a velvet ribbon of hers once when I was very young. Though I cannot recall it being the quality of this. The couch is the most comfortable thing I have sat in. I don't have too long to ponder over plush sofas and heavy fabrics for very long though for soon enough the door is thrown open and Prim and my mother comes rushing in.

"Why Katniss? Why? You can't!" Primrose screams as she throws herself at me. I fight the tears so I won't cry. I glance at my mother, who stands still, watching mine and Prim's actions quietly.

"You know that I had to. The life we have now isn't easy and it won't get easier. I want something better for you. For all of us." I say and avoid Prim's teary gaze. She will make me regret my decision. The decision that I took long ago. I've prepared for this since I can remember and yet, it would be a lie to say that I am not absolutely frightened. I'm not about to show that though. Let the Capitol believe that I'm doing this for fame and glory. Let them believe that I'm excited. All I care about is that I know why I'm down this. For Prim.

"What if you die?" Prim is crying so much and as expected, my mother just stands there, doing nothing.

"I won't die. You know me. You know how good I am. I know that it's a risk but it's worth it. All of it is worth it Prim. For you." I say aha hug her tightly. I can feel her sniffing against my chest.

"Just promise that you'll come home. Please." I look away as I nod.

"I promise."

Prim screams as the Peacekeepers forces her away. I only nod at my mother. She looks away. Sighing, I throw myself down on the plush couch again and sigh even louder as I imagine myself floating away for a minute. Disappearing with the wind. I imagine myself silently crumble inte nothing as my mind floats through the air. Sometimes I envy the wind. How free it is. Free and silent, but so very powerful. The wind can never be contained. I imagine myself as the wind. Uncontainable and powerful.

"Catnip." Gale says, his voice barely above a whisper. He looks at me with such disappointment that I can barely stand it. Why must he make me feel ashamed of what I've done? Does he not understand my reasons?

"Gale, don't." I say warningly.

"You've known this from the start. You've always know that I would do this. I have to do this, for Prim. She needs the immunity and the money. We all do." I stand up and Gale moves away as I near him. I try not to let the hurt show.

"Katniss, Prim won't get the immunity unless you win! She won't be safe from the reaping unless you make it out of the games alive, which is highly unlikely with tributes from District 1 and 2 present in the games. And if you, by some miracle win, you will win as a murderer." The hurt I feel from his lack of believe in me is nothing compared to the anger I feel from his betrayal. He once told me that he would support me no matter what, and all that mattered was that it made me happy.

"Gale." I say and reach for him but he just looks at me with disgust and backs away. The rejection I feel is not nearly comparable to the anger and sadness. Hardening my gaze and dropping my arm to my side, I nod more to myself than to him. "Okey, if that's what you want." I say coldly and point to the door. His eyes betrays him for a fraction of a second but stubborn as he is, he only gazes over me once and then leave the room without a word.

I want to cry. My body demands that a shed tears for what could be my last goodbye to my best friend, but I know Gale as though he were an extension of myself. In some ways, I would even say that he is. He is afraid for me, afraid that I might never return. I am no fool, I know that what Gale feels for me might not only be feelings of a friend and that he must be terrified of me never returning. Gale has an idea of me that isn't necessarily true and I suspect that he never actually thought that I would enter the games. At least not voluntarily. And when I did he took his fear out over me. It does not make his words any less hurtful though.

As I enter the train, I clutch the golden pin in my hand. It's a mockingjay. Madge came and said goodbye after Gale. She gave me the pin and then told me that she hopes I'll win. I snort. I hope so too.

If the room in the justice building was luxurious, then this train is out of this world. A display of colorful and mouthwatering foods which I've never seen before in my life and liquors and drinks for ages stands on tables. Each train compartment more luxurious than the next. I feel a small amount of distaste for the Capitol people settle in my mouth. How they live in a luxury like this everyday is incomprehensible to me.

"So this is the tribute that made history." A drunken vice slur from the door of the compartment that me and Peeta currently sit in. Haymich Abernathy, the infamous lone Victor of District 12. He immediately heads for a table full of colorful liquors. After pouring himself what I imagine not to be his first glass this morning he sloppily throws himself down onto one of the plush, blue lounge chairs. He stares at me and then Peeta and then back at me before speaking.

"So why'd you do it?" He slurs to me. I glare at the drunken man that is supposed to be my mentor. how the hell will he be able to help us if he's straight up drunk all the time. Before I can answer, he starts talking again.

"And don't even start with the whole 'for glory-thing'." I snort.

"A Victor is granted everything they could possibly want. Fame, glory, money for the rest of their days. They, and their close family gets immunity from the games." My eyes find a small knife next to me. I think it's for cheese of some kind but it does not matter. I take the knife and twirl it between my fingers as I continue.

"My father died when I was eleven, and when my mother became depressed, I thought we were going to die. Then one day, when I was certain that we all would starve to death, I got help from someone. That small help made me decide that I would never let that happen again. By then, I knew how to use a bow. I made use of that. I hunted everyday even though it's illegal. By trading meat and other things I could collect in the forrest, we could afford the basics. But that's not a life I want for Prim. For there is still the games, which she would not last a day in. I can't let her live with the fear of maybe having to enter the games. So I've trained everyday for the day where I'd enter the arena." Haymitch looks at me quietly for a few moments before he bursts out in laughter.

"You've trained? Oh, sweetheart." He says and laughs some more. My grip on the cheese knife in my hand tightens.

"Throwing a few knifes and shooting a few arrows is not enough to win the games. Ever hear of the Careers. Unless yo-" The knife I had in my hand lands with a thud on the wall behind the drunk. A piece of his hair lands on the floor that the knife managed to knick off. He looks at me shocked.

"Are you insane?" He yells. I smile sweetly.

"First of all, it's not a few knifes and a few arrows. It's every weapon that you can imagine. Second of all, do not underestimate me. I may be doing this for Prim, but don't for a second think that I am afraid of doing what needs to be done." I say before standing up and storming out of the compartment.

I ignore Effie's commands that I join them for supper. Instead I order something to my own compartment as I watch the recap of todays reapings. Only a few people make an impression on me. The boys and the girls from One and Two. The girl from five and the tributes from District 11. The boy looks as though he could compete against the brute from Two. The girl. Well, I have to look away when she's reaped. She's only twelve. I hope that I won't have to kill her. I don't think I could.

When Cesear, the Capitol man which have the "honor" of interviewing each tribute every year, starts rambling about how exciting it is to have a volunteer from an outlying district, I shut the TV off. I don't want to hear more about myself today. All I want to do is sleep. I doubt I've been this exhausted for very long time.

Breakfast with Haymitch and Peeta the next day is one of the most awkward affairs I've ever been to. Neither one says anything until Haymitch starts spiking his juice with more liquor.

"Do you really need to drink that much?" Peeta says and if looks could kill, Peeta would be dead and buried eight times just from Haymitch stare.

"Why do you care?" He asks sarcastically and I snort which gains me Haymitch attention.

"Got anything to say sweetheart?" He asks me, even more sarcastically.

"How are you going to mentor us if you're so drunk?" I ask him. He seems to think this over and when he sees my hand moving towards my knife, he quickly answers.

"Tell you what sweetheart, if you do as the stylist tells you to and act all good and happy for the Capitol, then I'm going to stay sober enough to be somewhat helpful, ok?" He says before taking a sip of his drink. Figuring that it's the best deal I'll get, I nod before retreating my hand from the knife. As I do this, the cart becomes dark for just a moment and I realize that we must be near the Capitol. This is confirmed to me when the cheers can be heard from outside as we slow down. I head towards the windows. The people outside the train are even more funny looking than Effie Trinket or Ceasar Flickerman. But, their my potential sponsors so I smile and wave, burying my distaste for them as I do.

"At least you know how to act nice." I hear Haymitch mutter as he leaves the compartment. I ignore him as I continue waving. I sigh when the windows are covered and I can drop my smile. Effie comes rushing in, talking about the time and how we'll be late. For what exactly, I don't know, but as I leave the train I realize that it doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is that I win. And I will, but it would be a ridiculous lie to say that I'm not afraid.


	2. Chapter 2 - Reckoned

I discover fairly quickly that I won't be spending any more time the absolutely necessary with anyone ascending from the Capitol. This dawns on me as Octavia, one of my stylists, plucks another hair from my eyebrows. I glare at her overtime and each time she apologizes but justifies it to herself by stating that "I'm just so hairy". Well, it's not like plucking my eyebrows was my top priority back in 12.

Another thing that dawns on my as I'm forced to spend hours with my team while they pluck and polishes me to perfection is that they are oblivious. Outrageously so. I've spent four hours with them and they haven't once mentioned anything other than fashion, how hairy I am or about some gossip. I blurt the most of what they're saying out but each time they pull away one of those awful paper pieces from my legs or pluck away hair from some part I'm harshly pulled back to reality.

It's ironic really, how they plucker and polish us until perfection only to send us into an arena to die. Of course I know that I signed up on this and that I have only myself to blame for being here, but I'm doing it for Prim. I know that I may die in the arena but I could never live with myself if I hadn't even tried. If Prim was reaped when I could no longer volunteer in her place. And she deserves a life where money is not something she will have to worry about. A life where food is always a given.

After what I can only imagine is many hours, I meet my main stylist. Cinna. To say that I'm surprised by his looks is a pretty accurate description. The only thing that stands out is the thin line of gold on each of his eyelids. I immediately like him more than my stylist team. He seems a bit more down to earth.

"So, why did you do it?" He asks as he's finishing up the final details on my black bodysuit. China keeps talking about how this suit isn't just what meets the eye. I haven't seen myself in the mirror yet, but I can already tell that it's better than anything District 12 has ever worn in the tribute parade earlier.

I look at Cinna, debating my answer. I, of course, know but I truly wonder if he would understand. He's from the Capitol after all. Yet something tells me he'd understand better than most, Capitol citizen or not.

"I come from the poorest part of District 12, and each day is a fight for survival. When I was younger, my father died in a mining accident and everyday after that day became nothing but a question if me and my little sister, Primrose, would go hungry. No one should have to live in the constant fear of not knowing when they'll get to eat next.

"A Victor is one of the most privileged in all of Panem. All of their desires and wishes becomes reality. Money and food is never a question to them. And never do they have to worry about having to enter the games.

"All of this, Prim deserves and more. I want the best for her, and I am prepared to sacrifice myself for that, for even if I die, I tried. I could never live with myself if she were to be reaped when I could no longer volunteer in her place." I end my little speech. Nervously, I trace the plastic like material of my suit with my fingers. I don't know why I told Cinna all that.

He smiles kindly at me with something that seems like sympathy in his eyes. I'm surprised. I didn't think the Capitol people were even able to sympathize with others.

"That was a courageous thing you did for your sister. Admirable." He says after a long moment of silence. I only nod. I wouldn't call myself or what I did admirable. It's survival. Something that I've done my whole life. I've always done what need to be done in order to stay alive and I plan on doing the same now. For Prim.

When Cinna leads me into where all the other tributes are already present, my young heart starts hammering like it's running for its life. Much like I will within a few days. I could count the hours even for that is all the time I may have left. Hours.

I try to ignore the stare of the other tributes and look as confident as possible when I and Peeta step onto the carriage that'll carry us around the city for all of Panem to see. Some tributes may gain from showing their nervousness, but I am not one of them. I willingly signed up for death. Surely everyone expects me to be as good as a career. I start to feel the panic risen even more and the tightness in my chest tighten as I realize that I do not really know if I am as good as I believed. What if I'm not good enough? Then I'm dead.

My musings are rudely interrupted by me almost fall off the carriage as the horses starts to trot away. Me and Peeta are the last tributes. At first, no one pays us any attention and all cameras are on the marvelous tributes from the career districts. My gaze shifters to a screen where the boy from 2 stands proudly. Clad in golden armor with a sword in hand, he stands. He does not smile or acknowledge the audience in anyway and yet they still adore him. He arrogantly and with a stone cold stare, gaze at the front where President Snow stands, equally proudly. Somehow the boy from 2 seems far more intimidating than the President.

As Peeta and I near the middle of the way, our costumes catch fire. At first, panic hits me but I quickly realize that I feel nothing more than a tingle and that this must be what Cinna meant when he said that there was more to this costume than what meets the eye. Immediately, all cameras and eyes are on us. The crowd screens our names and praise us. I catch a rose in my mouth and bow gracefully. I act nothing like myself as I wave and throw kisses at the people that I really despise. When I'm not paying attention, Peeta grabs my hand and lifts it into the air. At first I consider pulling my hand away but the even higher screams from the audience stops me.

As we near the President's mansion, the flames stop and so does to music. The President starts his speech and I all but listen. I can feel the stare of someone and instinctively, I cast my eyes to my onlooker. As our eyes meet, my heart become a hummingbird trapped in my ribcage, desperate to escape. He holds my gaze, glaring at me till our horses starts moving again. How long that is, I do not know for time itself become irrelevant.

"You were amazing!" Effie squeals as we step off our carriage. Haymitch nods in a somewhat agreement but I can tell that he's pleased. It was, after all, the most memorable parade ever. Thanks to Cinna.

"Yeah well, Cinna is the mastermind behind this, not us." I say matter of factly. Haymitch snorts.

"Not only the costumes Sweetheart. Holding hands," He sips his drink. "That's unheard of. You did something revolutionary back there. Showed a unified front." I uncomfortably look away. That is not what I wanted. I can't afford united fronts when I might have to kill him eventually.

Haymitch suddenly looks at something behind me and as I turn around to see what's got his trousers in a twist, he grabs my arm.

"Come on Sweetheart, time for dinner." Is all he says as he forces me away from the other tributes. Peeta and Effie trails closely behind. It's only when the doors of the elevator are closing that I notice the boy from 2 clearing at me yet again, and that his mentor is holding him back discreetly.

Dinner that evening is full of talks and the sound of cutlery scraping against plates. I keep my mouth closed for most of the time as I have nothing to say.

"Tomorrow is the first day of training," Haymitch starts. "Of which could be essential if you want to get out of that arena alive." I shudder as Haymitch continues. The mood of the room suddenly turns very dark. "You need to batten down the hatches for soon the arena will no longer be the future and if you are not prepared when then countdown ends, you will leave the arena in a bag." Both Peeta and I lose our appetites and I can feel the little amount of wine that I had earlier start to make its way up again.

"I want you to go to every station available tomorrow. Don't underestimate the necessity of good knot or how to make a proper fire. Don't show the game makers or the other tributes your skills and whatever you do, watch out for the careers."

Effie tries to cheer us all up after that but I cannot stop thinking about Haymitch words. Watch out for the Careers. I recall the District 2 boy's icy glare and I shudder. I'd be more than happy to oblige.

I bid everyone goodbye fairly early and head to bed without even watching away my makeup, too exhausted from all the plucking and pulling of today. As I quietly lose myself to the unconsciousness that is sleep, I try, even if just for a moment, to forget everything and just imagine myself somewhere else. I'm unsuccessful.

Peeta and I are the last to show up in the training center and we're even ten minutes early. How excited everyone must be. I mentally snort at the thought. I have yet to get the privilege of another glare from 2 but I doubt it's anything but a question of time.

As Atala starts her speech about how the training over the next few days will occur, I take my time to really look at the other tributes. Obviously, all of the Careers look strong and well fed. I life in wealth will do that you. I cannot help but to feel disgusted but also very envious of them. They've probably not had to worry about food for a day in their life. The District 1 tributes doesn't look quiet as dangerous as those from two, but I am never one to underestimate. The girl, Glimmer ore something equally silly, is one of the most pretty girls I've ever seen and if I weren't whom I am, then I would picture her as someone not willing to do anything that could damage her nails. The boy is lanky and very tall but he still looks strong, though not quite as strong as the brute from 2. The girl from 2 is small. Shorter and smaller than me but I have no doubt that she's no less dangerous than any of the others. The brute, well let's just say that if I'd run into him in the arena, my chances of escaping his grasp would be very slim.

Many of the tributes aren't much to even memorize and it'll be easier if I don't know their names when we all enter the arena. Still, the Foxface like girl from five looks too smart for her own good, and the boy from 11 looks as though he could compete against the brute from 2's strength. Rue, the little girl from 11 is so much like Prim in many ways that I deliberately avoid looking at her.

As soon as Atala is done talking, me and Peeta make our way to the first station. Camouflage. Quite quickly I realize that this isn't something that I will ever master nor have very much use of. I know it may be arrogant to reason like that but camouflage is for hiding that is no something I plan on doing.

I leave Peeta at it and move on to some of the other stations. By lunchtime, I've managed to cross of all of the mandatory courses. As I already suspected, most of them, other than camouflage weren't really a problem to me.

I sit with Peeta at lunch, and much to my dismay, our table is the closest to the Careers'. I can hear their snickering and talks. Glimmer is all but sitting in the brutes lap and he doesn't really seem to mind. I snort to myself and roll my eyes as I continue eating my roll.

"What about that girl from 12? Katniss?" The girl from 2 suddenly says and I seriously wonder hoe they cannot realize that I can hear them.

"As far as I know, she's done nothing that makes her stand out from the rest of those pathetic districts. She hasen't even neared the weapons stations yet. I'd say she's no concern of ours." The brute says and his words makes something flare within me. I tie my fist under the table at his words and in my head I shout the most obscene of obscenities at him.

"But Cato, she volunteered." The girl says to the brute, presumably Cato.

"So? Maybe she's just suicidal." He says and all of them laugh. I try really hard but I cannot stop myself from storming out of the lunchroom as smoke is practically steaming from my ears. I can barely believe the arrogans that they possess.

It takes the rest of the lunch for me to be able to even enter the training room again. As soon as I see the careers snickering at some girl who's aimlessly trying to figure out how to throw a spear, I feel the fume rise again. Angrily I stomp over to one of the dummies. I drag it closer to where the Careers are standing and I now see them watching me closely with amusement in their eyes. I glare at them as I pick up knifes, spears, a machete, an ax and a bow and arrow. They are practically laughing already as I take a stand, far away from the dummy. I am perfectly aware that I'm crossing the Rubicon but their mocking only works to aggravate me further and makes lose total control of my actions.

I take three knifes and throw the first one. Right in the heart. I throw the two other at the same time and both hit bullseye. I don't stop for even a second as I snatch the spear from the ground and throws it directly in the chest. The spear tip prices through the back of the dummy. I shoot an arrow directly in the eye with the bow and then I take the axe and walk a bit closer, though not by much. I throw with all my force and it perfectly chops the head of the dummy right off. Lastly, I grab the machete and as I picture the dummy as Cato, I take out all of my anger on it. When there is nothing more than pieces left on the floor, I look up to a silent room with twenty three shocked eyes on me. I glare at four of them.

"Anyone else who wants to question my capabilities?" I shout to all of them. No one says anything and I smile pleased. I am a force to be reckoned with.


	3. Chapter 3 - The Girl on fire

You did what?" Haymich practically screams. He's drunken eyes are bloodshot, but I suspect that it's more than just alcohol contributing to that. Nervously, I dart my eyes around the room, seeking the help from both Effie and Peeta but neither are very helpful. I force myself to calm the hummingbird in my chest and school my expression into one of boredom. I shrug as if I don't care of what I did.

"I was angry." I say as if that's an excuse for completely ignoring Haymitch advise. We wanted his help and I threw it back in his face. I would be lying if I didn't say that I did not feel a bit ashamed. I hate feeling that way for shame is a dirty, smothering blanket that clouds ones sight and my sight needs to be completely clear.

"Oh, you were angry. Now I understand. It's all fine then." Haymitch says, his voice dripping with so much sarcasm that I'm surprised it hasn't started to pool by his feet.

"I-" Haymitch interrupts me before I even have time to say anything else. I'd say that it's terribly rude but so were my actions and I try not to be a hypocrite. Though I suppose that I am the worst hypocrite. The games are horrible, yet I enter them voluntarily. Cato is a perfect example of the type of man I hate, yet I find my gaze drawn to him whenever he's near. I dislike how the Careers act yet I detest weakness even more. I'm jealous and angry about hoe the Careers train for the games, yet I did it myself.

"You had a perfect opportunity Katniss!" That is the first time Haymicth says my name. "You could've hidden your abilities and acted as though you were just as useless as all the other tributes but no, you had to waltz in there and show them up. Now you're their number one target." Reality hits me and I sink to the floor. The wall supporting my back feels rough, even through my sweater. I look up with a defeated look at Haymitch.

"So what do I do?" I ask quietly. Haymitch open his mouth, as if to answer, but Peeta is faster.

"You join them." I look up shocked at him. His blue eyes stare down at me worriedly. I have never truly looked at him, not this close. His blond hair is down, and I can't help but to think of how innocent he looks. He looks as though he couldn't hurt a fly and probably wouldn't. Such people like him shouldn't be in the games. They never stand a chance I think bitterly.

"What why?" I ask him. It's more a question on why he's yet again helping me. First the bread. Now this. Peeta does not understand that it's what I'm asking though.

"If you're with them, then you're not against them. At least temporarily. You have the skills. The only one whom can compete against you is probably the monster from 2 and I am certain he knows this. He would welcome you to their alliance with open arms." He's smart. I have to remember that.

"That's actually not a bad idea." Haymitch says and I look at him horrified. Is he actually considering it? I can't join the Careers. They're everything I'm not. At least its easier for me to accept myself if I convince myself of that. But each time I look at my reflection I see nothing but a wolf in wool.

"You've got to be kidding me." I state to Haymitch and he just laughs humorlessly.

"Well you've brought this upon yourself." He snorts. "You will go down to the second floor and speak with the brute. You will act as if this is what you want. I don't care how you do it, but convince them. Sleep with the brute for all I care but most importantly of all, you have to act as a Career at all times. Including inside that arena." I feel sick to my stomach at what he's demanding. I know very well what he means by acting like a Career.

Enjoy the hunt. Haymitch bitter words before I stepped into that elevator are impregnated into my mind. The bile in my throat raises just by thinking about it. Of course this is all my fault and I am not afraid to do what has to be done, but that des not mean that I like it. My only motivation is Prim. I'm doing this for her.

The elevator doors dings and then I'm suddenly standing on the second floor with no idea of what to do next. I stand there for mere seconds before someone enters my view. I look up to meet the gaze of Cato. He stands there smirkingly and I despise him even more for it. Still, I can't help but to let my eyes wander for just a second. Over his white t-shirt that shows all of his hard work. Grey sweatpants.

"Fire girl." He states simply, still with a smirk playing on his lips. I scowl at the nickname.

"Cato." I state back. He let's out a snort.

"So Fire girl knows my name huh?" He asks mockingly as though it would be something special about that. I roll my eyes and try to not let him distract me.

"I want in." I say simply, ignoring his earlier question. For a quarter of a second, he looks shocked and then he grins.

"And what makes you think that we would allow you, a rat from 12, to join us?" Knowing that he's just trying to aggravate me because of my bad temper, I force myself to stay calm. I decide that glaring at him will suffice instead. His grip does not falter.

"Because," I say and I hate myself for what I'm about to do next. I walk closer to him and let one of my fingers trail down his stomach. He looks to shocked to react, and it's probably the only reason to why he hasn't yet.

"I am you biggest rival. All of the others are a piece of cake for both you and I, either of us could easily decapitate them all with every weapon available." I let my finger trail lower and only stop at his waistband. In all honesty, I have no idea of what I'm doing and it's not like I like the brute. I just really like the idea of leaving the games alive.

"But you and I against each other on the other hand. No one know who would win, and would you really have me running around in the arena, with no knowledge of where I am?" I ask him but I don't think he will answer. My finger is tracing patterns on the skin between his pants and his shirt and I've stepped even closer.

"If I'm with you, then I'm not against you." I whisper in his ear and that seems to snap him out of it. He takes a step away from me so quickly that it almost seems inhuman. His face is impassive but I can tell he's flustered. He must not get very much action. I thought that Glimmer for sure had given him way more than just a simple alliance.

"You're in." He says and I smile in triumph. It's short-lived though as he soon has a strong grip on my jaw, forcing me to look at his face.

"But if you ever touch me again scum, you're death won't be quick." He says quietly and I have no doubt that he means it. I avert my eyes to the side, ignoring the redness that now warms my face. When he let's me go, I quickly leave towards the elevator but before it closes I look back at him.

"Sure about that?" I ask and nod towards the bulge in his pants. I snicker quietly when he looks back with a red and irritated face. Just then, the doors close and I sigh in relief. I'm in.

The last trainings are very uneventful. I practice some with my weapons and spare some with the instructor, though he tells me to go practice something that I'm not good at. That's why spend the majority of the last training days practicing camouflage and fishing. I also read a lot about edible plants. The other Careers does not seem very happy about that, but they don't comment either. If I were to guess, I would say that my show on the first day of training gave them something to respect. Not that it matters if they expect me as long as they don't try to stab me in the back, something I should of course consider possibility.

I've never seen anyone as angry as Cato when he enters the 12th floor with eyes covered in a film of red.

"How did you receive and 11?" He screamed at me as he stalked forward. I explained shooting at the game makers and that the only reason I got an 11 was to paint me as a target. To punish me. He seemed only a bit calmer after that. He didn't say anything else except that I should watch out for Clove. As if she was my only rival.

"Just don't act like yourself Sweetheart." Haymitch says as another hour of preparations for the interview with Ceasar this evening continues. I sigh frustratedly. Not acting like myself is exactly what I'm doing. I'm a bloody Career for pete's sake! I'm acting exactly the opposite of what I am. That is at least what I tell myself when I lay sleepless at night. Though even in my own head do my thoughts sound fake and hollow.

"I'm not!" I yell frustratedly and throw myself back into the plush chair. It's velvet. Everything is velvet. The people of the Capitol seems to adore it. Such a ridiculous thing to adore but then again, who would expect anything else from people who dye their hair pink and where stuffed animals as purses?

"You're grumpy and short and not in any way likable." Haymitch says and to this I just snort and roll my eyes, which only works to improve his point. He lifts a questioning eyebrow at me and I just hiss at him.

"Then how do you suggest I act?" I ask him. I've already asked him this once but then he suggested that I'd talk about my sister but that is something I refuse to do. The Capitol don't deserve her.

"If you won't talk about your sister, then talk about the games; how excited you are and how you have the victory in the palm of you hand. Act like the Career you've made yourself sweetheart." His voice is almost grim and I detect something equivalent to disappointment in his eyes. I move my gaze and sigh deeply, equally disappointed in myself. I've let myself down and the shame I feel is suffocating but there is no going back. Not if I want to live.

"Okey." I whisper but I'm not even certain Haymitch hears it.

The dress Cinna makes me wear is beautiful. I love it, though it's velvet. Just like everything else from the Capitol. I silently vow to avoid velvet as much as possible in the future, though I doubt that it'll be a big concern of my as the games are truly in a few hours. It bothers me that I'm not more concerned. I could be dead in hours and yet here I stand, clad in a heavy, black dress and smile. I guess everyone reacts differently when faced with the uncertainty of death.

To say that I look dangerous would be insulting. I look deadly. The dress I'm clad in is heavy. It's bodice is tight but by my waist it flows freely down to the floor where it, even with my dangerously high heels on, graces it. The sleeves aren as such shelves as they are two ribbons of the same velvet material laced together up my arms. They give the impression of an amour of sort. My hair si slicked back and straightened to perfection and I do really look like I'm ready for battle. I see what Cinna's intention must be and I silently wonder if Haymitch told him about the approach I'll use in my interview. I hate that the though makes the smothering blanket round me even harder to breath through.

The glare that I get from the Careers, with exception of Glimmer who's already being interviewed, once I arrive where the other tributes are waiting are bring holes. I refuse to meet any of their gazes with exception of Cato, who seems so intent on making what could be the remaining hours of my life, as uncomfortable as possible. I meet his glare with an equally harsh gaze, hoping that it'll force him to avert his eyes but he only smirks and winks. I roll my eyes and huff. Behind me, Peeta stands nervously, continually shifting from one foot to the other.

"Peeta calm down." I turn around and hiss at him. something that could pass for as hurt reflects quickly in his eyes. I quickly feel the blanket tighten it's smothering hold on me.

"Just, don't show them that you're afraid." I say in a slightly gentler tone. He nods carefully and then he looks as if he's about to say something but he stops himself and before I even have time to ponder why, I feel myself being roughly turned around to face a broad chest. I look up at Cato irritatedly. He leans in, so close to my ear that I can feel the warmth of his breath on my neck as he speaks. It's strange, I almost expected his breath to be as cold as his heart.

"Have you finally accepted your place on as nothing more than a piece of dirty coal, Fire girl?" Cato whispers mockingly in my ear and to anyone else, it would look as though he whispered some inside joke. I laugh humorlessly and turn to whisper in his ear instead.

"Rather coal than a piece of foil." I say, referring to his shiny, aggravatingly fitting suit, and smile sweetly. He immediately looks angered by my comment. I know that it's risky, with me being his ally and all. He could decide to turn on me any second inside that arena and in close combat, his straight early surpasses my own.

"You're lucky that you're my ally or else your head would be the first to go." He says before angrily stomping away. I sigh in relief.

"He's a monster." I hear Peeta exclaim behind me and I nod in agreement to myself. That, he certainly is.

" _So Cato, tell me,"_ Ceasar leans forward in his chair. Cato mimics Cesars motions. _"Is there any special girl back home?"_ I hold a silent breath as I await Cato's answer. I tell myself it's because I would feel sorry for whichever girl who had to deal with Cato.

" _No, I'll_ _save_ _that_ _until_ _after the games."_ He says smirkingly and I breathe again. Cato seems incapable of smiling. He ever only smirks or scoffs. A monster must be incapable of happiness after all.

The interviews pass in a blur and all but little Rue fail to make any lasting impression on me. She talks about her home in 11 and how she's scared for the games but hopes that she can win home so she can return to her family. I have to force myself not to show any shed of weakness. I cannot afford it.

Before I know it, it's my turn and I struggle to look confident as I stride onto the stage. I cast a glance at one of the monitors displaying me and I have to hand it to Cinna. He definitely knows what he's doing. I look like an angel of death.

"Katniss, the Girl on fire!" Caesar exclaims loudly as I take the stage. I laugh and wink towards the crowd as the scream.

"How are you?" Ceasar asks as we both take a seat on the only furniture on the stage.

"With the games so close?" I ask him rhetorically and I can tell he expects me to answer nervous or anything of that sort but I just smile darkly.

"I'm excited." Ceasar laughs and I continue smiling but inside i'm screaming. If I'd watched this at home, I would spit at the screen. I feel sick to my stomach for the way I'm acting. I cannot let that show though. No matter how much I hate what I'm doing, I'm doing it all for Prim.

Caesar continues to ask me questions about myself and I answer them all, though not very truthfully.

"A tribute like yourself, a volunteer from an outlying district is quite unusual. Why did you do it?" His question is hard for me to answer because I don't have any reason other than for Prim and I refuse to say that. I pretend to ponder over the question before I resume my dark smile.

"Because, Ceasar, I've always seen the game as an honor to participate in and I know that my district are very proud of my achievements so far." I say though it could not be further from the truth. In all honesty they've probably disowned me already. I would if I were them. I am ashamed.

"I know I can win so I figured that if I can win, why not do it?" I ask and Ceasar laughs a little. HE seems satisfied with my answer. He then goes back to discussing irrelevant matters such as my favorite food (plum lamb stew) or what scent I prefer in my shampoo (strawberry). He then comments my dress, something that even I appreciate. It's truly a magnificent piece.

"Want me to spin?" I ask, giggling a little and Ceasar nods enthusiastically and so I stand up. I start to spin and raise my arms in the air. As I start to feel small tickles on my skin, I look down to see the whole dress glow like hot cool and in my head i can't help but to snort humorlessly. I guess Cato was right. He must be out of his mind right now.

"Wow, that was truly something Katniss." Caesar says and then the buzzer sounds, effectively ending my interview.

"A big applaud for Katniss, the Girl on fire!" Caesar yells and I smirk as the crowd goes crazy. Yeah, the girl on fire indeed.


	4. Chapter 4 - No second thoughts

I'm surprised by the sudden wind as I ascend from the catacombs under the arena. Despite that the wind was not particularly cold, I find myself pulling my thin jacket tighter around me as I scan out over my surroundings. An thrilling grin finds it's way onto my face asI realize what an advantage I have. All around us, thick forrest is thrives proudly. To my left there's a lake and I suspect that it'll be one of the only water sources in the arena; to drive the tributes closer and urge them to fight. And kill.

" _Fifty…Forty-nine…Forty-eight…"_

Claudius Tempelsmith's voice booms out over the arena and it's the only sound audible other than a few tributes ragged and panicked breaths. I shake my head at their weakness, silently damning them for not being stronger. At the same time I find myself completely disgusted by train of thoughts. Many of these people had never held a weapon in their hands before a few days ago and now they're supposed to fight for their life against people who've been trained to kill since they can remember. It's understandable that they are frightened. I am too. I just find it, and though I hate myself for it, so weak to show such fright. They won't have any sponsors that way. Not that I believe anyone other than the Careers and Peeta and I have any. All thanks to Peetas stunt last night. I was outraged at first. He made me look weak, though Haymitch kept insisting otherwise.

" _Thirty-five…Thrity-four…Thirty-three…"_

My eyes falls on Peeta. He stands ridged but to my surprised he doesn't look all that afraid. I smile inwardly at that. I gaze at him. The boy with the bread to whom I owe my life, yet I cannot afford to ever repay him if I want to return to Prim. His blue eyes meets mine and I sigh. He cannot be in love with me. I refuse to believe it. I could never live with myself, knowing that he'll have to die in order for me to survive.

" _Twenty-three…Twenty-two…Twenty-one…"_

I meet each of my allies eyes, but my gaze stays on Cato. He looks at me smirkingly and winks and as I know that he's only trying to infuriate me, I grin back at him in hopes of aggravating him instead. It doesn't work.

" _Ten…Nine…Eight…"_

I realise that I have yet to make any sort of plan on what I should do the second Claudius counts to zero. My heart quickly double its pace and I furiously scan the Cornucopia for any possible weapons. I know a bow would be ideal for long-distance and because of my small statue, I have a greater disadvantage in close combat. Though that does not, by any means mean that I am bad at it. I also scout out a mace and a few knifes.

As Claudius says one, I decide to go for the bow first since there's only one of it. There's plenty of maces and knifes.

For an incredibly short moment, everything is quiet. Not the slightest sound is audible and I treasure that moment of peace for it could possibly be my last. Then the world turns into one of complete and utter chaos. I am one of the first to reach the Cornucopia, only Cato keeps up the speed. It does not take many moments for several others to arrive though and without a second thought, for I allow myself no second thoughts in this moment of pandemonium. The slightest hesitation could mean the difference between life and death after all.

I grab the bow and the quiver of arrows, and sigh them over my shoulder before grabbing a mace. I decide that the bow is too much of a long distance weapon right now. Before I even have the time to turn around, I feel a hand push my shoulder and I snort at the pathetic move. I turn around to face the girl from District 7. She looks at me maliciously and it makes me feel a little better about myself as I slice through her neck with such force that her head hangs by a few threads. I feel sick for a moment but I force myself to smile evilly at her. I can only imagine what the people back home must think of me. I know what I would think. _No second thoughts._ I remind myself of this continually as I run my mace through the boy from 5 and the boy from 8. By the time the cannons start I'm covered in blood and I can feel it as I lick my lips. I immediately feel the bile in my throat. I didn't mean to taste the blood. I did not think. _No second thoughts._

I count each boom of the cannon; eleven dead in mere minutes.

"We should move so they can collect the bodies." Cato says, immediately taking the liberty of being the head of the pack. I don't really care right now. I know that I'll get what I want because besides Cato, I'm the best in our alliance. They all know it. I can tell that they are _afraid_ of me as they look at me though they try to hide it. Of course they do. No one would want to see an afraid Career. They are supposed to be the fearless killing machines. They are the Capitol lapdogs, always playing by the rules. Though I suppose I'm no different right now. I'm disgusted with myself.

"Yeah." I agree quietly before walking away towards the lake, only one though in my mine; _No second thoughts._ I have every intention of scrubbing every last drop of blood off me.

It's obvious that the rest of the Careers are following me for they aren't very quiet. Didn't they teach them how to not walk as if they have a death wish at their _Academy?_ I snort. Of course they didn't. Why teach the strongest to be quiet when you have nowhere to flee if they run into you anyway. They will catch you no matter what. _We_ will catch them.

"You did quite the performance back there Fire girl." The unmistakable voice of Cato says. His proximity should startle me but no one startles a murderer and that is what I am.

"Did you expect anything else?" I ask bitterly and look at the brute that has now taken the liberty of taking a seat next to me by the edge of the lake. He dips his fingers into the water and slowly, the blood on his hands blends with the water but both he and I know that the blood will always be there. No matter how hard you scrub.

"I actually though you would bail on us all and run of with Lover boy." Cato says and there is something about the way that he sneers Peeta's name, well Peeta's nickname, that catches my attention. I look at him with mild irritation in my eyes.

"No." I say and at first I plan on leaving it there. I pick at the grass around me, that too stained by blood. "I owe Peeta my life but I want to live. I can never repay him but that is the price I'll pay for the chance of going home." Cato looks at me questionably and I know he does not understand. Of course he does not know about the bread but he does not deserve to know.

"You are strange, do you know that?" Cato asks and if not for the tone of his voice I would take it as an insult but for the first time ever I hear an ounce of gentleness there so I only nod.

"Aren't we all?" I ask but before he can answer something snarky in response, Clove yells for us to come. Simultaneously we head to the golden horn in the center of the arena. The others stands there, packed to their teeth with weapons but I can still spot some of the good ones in the inside of the Cornucopia. Instantly, I grab a small sword and a hilt to attach it to. I strap a small spear to my back as well and then I meet the gaze of the others who are all staring silently at me.

"What?" I hiss. Clove just snicker.

"I just never thought I would see a District 12 scum looking like a Career." Clove says and my eyes flash dangerously at her.

"You never though you'd be killed by one either but if you don't watch that mouth of yours you might just be." I say to her furiously. She just stares at me in disbelief as Cato burst out in laughter. It's the first time I hear him laugh, for real. I would say that it's a beautiful sound but when coming from him, I would never admit it.

As it turns out, Cato continues to act as the head of the pack and by nightfall each of us are treading carefully, or at least I'm treading _carefully_ , through the woods with a pair of night googles on. It gives us an enormous advantage and I feel bad for the tributes we're hunting but I quickly dispose of those thoughts. _No second thoughts._ I can only pray that Rue has hidden herself. I am certain that I couldn't ever kill her. She reminds me too much of Prim.

It only takes an hour or so for us to see the fire. How can one be so stupid? I silently damn the tribute who signed his/her own death.

As we close in, it dawns on me that it's the female from 8. At least it's not Rue. Or Peeta. No,I cannot think in such a manner. I shake my head and empty my thoughts.

"No please! Pease don't kill me!" She screams but no one cares. Why would they? One step closer to going home.

No one even says anything as Cato slashes her with his sword. I force myself to watch for turning away is a sigh of weakness and I am not _weak._

The canon for the girl does not sound until were back at the Cornucopia hours later and I silently apologize to the girl who had to suffer.

Cato offers, or demands, that he'll take the first watch and once again no one argues. Either too tired or too disinterested to care. For me, it's both. I am simply thankful for the think sleeping bag I managed to grab. I keeps me warm as the nightly wind picks up it's pace.

As I try to fall asleep, yet another canon fires and I sigh. Eleven of us left and barely a full day has passed. We're dropping like flies and by each new sound of the canon I feel a piece of my sanity slip away only to be replace by a dark emptiness. Deep within me I feel a fear surface. I fear that I may not exit this game with a clear mind.

The first night in the arena is cold and I do not sleep very well, but atlas no more canon sounds. But by the time were once again threading through the woods, another canon sounds and then the unmistakable sound of a growl can be heard from behind us. It take sus approximately one second to start running but the beast, which I have yet to lay my eyes upon (though I'm ot even certain I want to) is at our heels. By the time we reach a river, the creature has stopped following us and when I look up I understand why. The Gamemakers always favor the Careers. Before a tribute stands, knee-deep in the water. He looks up at us surprised before he screams. It's the boy from 10. The one with a crippled foot. I feel sorry for him and I refuse to let one of the others torture him. An arrow pierce is eye before he even have the time to turn around. _No second thoughts_.


	5. Chapter 5 - Suspicion

"Why did you do that?" Clove screeches and I turn to glare at her. Any sane person would shut their mouth after that; I doubt that Clove has a sane bone in her body. "That was my kill!" She screams at me and I just smirk and shrug my shoulders. An act.

"You should've been faster then." I say and something dangerous flash in her eyes. I choose to ignore it but that quickly turns out to be quite a bad idea for before I even have the time to take a step I'm forcefully thrown to the stony ground beneath me. For a second, I feel fear make its way down my spine and I dreadfully look up at the insane girl on top of me. She has me at disadvantage now. She starts clawing at my face, which I protect with my hands, earning them quite a few of them. I hiss at the pain as she continues to scratch away the skin on my hands. I try to buck her off me but she is too heavy. Instead, in a desperate to flee the grip of the barely sane girl, I head butt her. The pain distracts me momentarily but Clove is distracted longer and it's enough time for me to flip us around. Instantly, my fist connects with her face forcefully. She lets out a small screech and desperately tries to get me off her but all it does is provoke me further. my fists connects with her face again and again till I feel myself being lifted off her. I scream angrily at whom ever that has the audacity to do that and I can only think of one person who'd do that.

"Cato!" I scream and start to trash around in his grip. His arms does not even budge. "Let me down!" I scream angrily and I know I must sound almost as insane as Clove. Right now, I don't care though. I could be insane for all I care; just let me murder that bitch!

"You'll kill her if I do." Cato answers simply and I continue to trash in his grip. Behind me, his warm breath fans my neck and if not for my obvious distraction right now, I'd pay more attention to the tingles it brings down my spine.

"Of course I'll fucking kill her!" I yell loudly as I look at the injured girl before me. She's clutching her nose, which I might've broken and her face looks like shit. Not that she looked prettier before.

"Calm down Katniss." Cato whispers harshly in my ear and I realize it's probably the first or second time he calls me that. It makes me momentarily stop my struggle, which causes Cato to tighten his hold on me and thereby making it pretty much impossible for me to move. I remind myself to never let him get a hold like this on me again for I would not stand a chance.

Eager to be released from Cato's crushing hold, I force my feelings of anger down, temporarily at least. If there's one person in this arena that I'll enjoy killing, It's Clove.

As soon as Cato releases me, I grab the weapons I lost while fighting clove, along with one of her knifes just to aggravate her a bit further. I know she won't say anything after practically getting her ass handed to her.

I take the lead back, which I'm surprised that Cato lets me do. I silently suspect that it has something to do with my fight with Clove. Something about blowing of steam. I forcefully use the mace I grabbed at the Cornucopia to slash my way through the forrest. The rest follows silently. If I were to stumble over a tribute right now, I know that he would leave this arena in a bag.

When we return to the golden horn, it's suspiciously quite. No birds, nor any wind can be heard. At first, I don't notice it, but as we close in on the horn I see it. A flash of red hair inside the horn. I sigh. Another death, I think but before I have the time to knock an arrow, another familiar face comes into view. Rue. What is she doing here? Why would she be this stupid. Ugh! I pray that I'm the only one that's seen them but I have no such luck.

"Well, well, well…what do we have here?" I hear Clove sneer but her mangled face makes her less threatening. I snort. She's so desperate. I turn my gaze towards Foxface and Rue, forcing my stare to remain stony no matter how much it hurts to watch them, knowing how they'll die soon.

"Wait!" Foxface says and holds up her hands. Clove snorts and so does the other Careers. I understand her though. I don't want to die either. No one wants to die, but they all have to if I'm going to be able to go home. And I need to go home. I need to return to Prim.

"We got a message from our mentors." Fox face says and Rue nods frantically in agreement. I raise my eyebrows. Why would that matter to us? Of course, their message must be important if they've risked their lives by coming here and in some way it must be related to us. It could of course also be a plot to take us down. A trap. I squint my eyes at them suspiciously and as I do, two more figures step out, one from the woods where we walked earlier and one from the fields. Peeta and Thresh. This must all be a trick.

"You're trying to trick us." Cato says, voicing my thoughts. Rue and Foxface both start to frantically shake their heads as Peeta and Thresh edges closer to us but they look as hesitant as I feel. It does really not look like they are here to attack us but they're here and now would be the perfect time to get rid of some competition. A shudder runs down my spine at my horrendous thoughts though I cannot help myself; I just want to go home.

"No." Rue says as she starts to panic. Something I recognize as regret starts to imbed itself in my mind.

"Our mentors told us to come here. They said that something was coming." Foxface says and I look at them confused. Why would their mentors send them to their death?

"Yeah, we." Glimmer says menacingly and I shudder. It's the first time I pay attention to how she acts and talks. Not that she's been quiet in anyway since the game started. I don't think that pretty mouth of hers has been shut for more than a few minutes since the games started but I block her out most of the time. Her constant flirting with Cato isn't very enjoyable to hear or watch for that matter.

"Why would they send you somewhere that they know we would be?" I ask them. They shrug but as on cue, Thresh and Peeta catches up with us, stopping only a few meters away.

"Because you're not going to kill us." Peeta says, his voice coming out as barley anything above a whisper from our right. Marvel and Cato both snort loudly.

"And why is that?" Cato asks mockingly with raised eyebrows. He stands with is arms crossed, making his already strong arms look bigger and more threatening.

"I would bet my right leg that those parachutes," Peeta points the five parachutes by the opening of the Cornucopia, of which I hadn't noticed. "Contains messages that are similar to the ones we got." He says, referring to himself, Thresh, Rue and Foxface.

"We can make that happen." Marvel says and takes a step towards Peeta with a spear raised, ready to throw at his leg.

"Stop!" I yell at him and he turns around smirking. It looks strange on his face, like it does not quite fit in there. He isn't very attractive and that smirk does nothing to improve it.

"What, Fire girl can't handle watching her one true love die?" Marvel asks me mockingly and I hiss at him. He only grins.

"I think that actually opening the parachutes first would be smarter." I say indifferently, not wanting to lose any sponsors by admitting that I don't love Peeta.

"We can open them after we've killed these brats." Marvel says endpoints his spear at them. I open my mouth to protest but Cato is quicker.

"No, open the parachutes first." He says gruffly before walking to them, snatching the one with Male, 2 on it and walking to the edge. I follow suit and take mine quickly. I expect a message, but much longer than the one I'm given.

"Stay within the Gold and they shall come - H"

I look questioningly at the note. What? Stay within the Gold and they shall come? What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? And why did Haymitch write like that? He's always straight forward and cuts right to the point. Stay within the Gold is quite easy to understand I guess. Stay at the Cornucopia. But 'they shall come'; who are 'they'?

"What the fuck?" I hear Cato and Clove exclaim at the same time. I meet Cato's gaze and he looks at me angrily. Whatever his note said can't be good.

"The cameras are off. They've been off since this morning." He says slowly with a deadly voice but I barely notice. The cameras haven't broadcasted anything since the first day. They've been off since the girl from 8 was murdered by us. That means I killed the boy from 10 for no reason. No one say it anyway. I sink to the ground slowly, me back resting against the warm metal of the Cornucopia. The Golden horn. Stay within the Gold.

"What does that even mean?" Glimmer screeches and I sigh.

"That means the games have been terminated." Foxface says but I shake my head in denial.

"You don't know that." I say bitterly. "Nothing cancels the games." I throw a knife at the ground next to me and Glimmer screeches again as it almost lodges into her left boot.

"The cameras haven't ever been off since the start of the games." Foxface says and I snort. That is not proof enough. "Haven't you noticed how quiet it is? How no birds are singing and how there's no wind?" I have noticed this but it could just be another trick from the Gamemakers to create more drama.

"There is not enough proof." I say bitterly and the other Careers nods in agreement, though I suspect that some are just eager for a little blood. I shudder.

Suddenly, something lands at my feet. I look up at Foxface, who threw it and at first I think it's a bomb but after nothing happens for a minute a carefully pick it up. I gasp as I see that its a camera but the lens is covered on the inside of it, proving that it was off before snatched from where it was hidden.

"Where did you get this?" I ask her suspiciously. I have no doubt that she is smart enough to make a plan like this to kill us easier.

"After my mentor sent me a note, I figured that I should look for clues as to what had happened. I was picking at the base of a three where I knew that there was a camera but I notices how it did not move after my movements. I carved it out of the three and noticed how it was off. I've seen several others looking just the same." She says and though I have my suspicions, she seems honest but you can never trust anyone in the games.

"So what do we do?" I ask no one in particular. I hear Clove hiss from behind me and I curse myself for letting her even stand with my back against her. She could jump me any minute.

"What do you mean 'what do we do'?" Clove asks mockingly before pointing her knife at Rue and Foxface. "We kill them." She grins evilly and I shudder. How can someone be so twisted. How do they even train those lapdogs over there in 2? I doubt I'd even like to know.

"But what if it's true and the games are really over?" I ask her and I can hear the small hope in my voice. I do not know what it would mean for us or anyone else if the games are already over but if it means that I get to leave this arena alive without killing anymore kids, I'm all for it. The rest of the Careers does not seem as eager.

"We should wait, at least for a while and see if anything happens. If this is just a trick, than the broadcast of the deaths should still occur." Foxface says timidly and I hear Cato snort.

"And if it's not true?" His voice is almost as mocking as Clove's and I give him a deathly glare. He just smirks at me. Just like he always does. Just as mockingly and just as annoying.

"Then you'll just have to kill us when we know." The red haired girl answers bitterly. The glare she gives Cato would be intimidating if not for her features being so innocent-like.

We all sit in groups by the Cornucopia, as far away from each other as possible, mistrust slowly thinking it's poisonous hold on us. Though I sit closer to my own alliance than to Peeta and the rest, I still sit fare enough away from them to be considered alone. I prefer it that way.

"Katniss." Startled, I look up at the blonde boy infant of me. He stares at me with his blue debts and for a minute I allow myself to get lost in them.

"Peeta." I say for that is all the words I can form. Why is he talking to me? I'm a murderer; a coldhearted beast.

Peeta stares at me for so long that I start to feel uncomfortable. When I finally think that I can't take it anymore, he speaks.

"May I sit?" His voice wavers slightly and he looks a me with nervous eyes. I shift my gaze to the ground beneath me. The grass is still stained with blood; blood which I helped spilling.

"If you wan't to sit next to a murderer." I mutter bitterly. Peeta sighs deeply next to me. Yeah, I hate myself too.

"You did what you had to do." Is his only answer and I whip my head towards him furiously.

"I showed up the Careers, all because of my pride which led me into going their alliance; forcing me to act as if I enjoy murdering children. I killed people in cold blood. For fuck's sake Peeta; I sliced someone's head off!" I'm yelling now. I can tell, not because I'm aware of my own actions, but because the only sound present inside this arena right now is my voice. It's quite loud as well. All eyes are on me as I force myself to calm down. It's only when I do that I realize that if it turns out that the games are still on, I'll be in deep trouble. That would mean that what I said could at least be heard everywhere.

"Wow Fire girl, at least you live up to your name." Cato says and the rest of the Careers since. I glare at him in return, which he, in ordinary daily order returns with a mocking grin.

"Katniss…" Peeta says and lays a hand on my shoulder. Mistake. I quickly lose myself of his grip and turn around to shake my head at him.

"No Peeta." Is all I say before I seat closer to the Careers, knowing thats the only place where he won't follow. Ignoring the guilt I feel creeping up, I grab an apple from my pack and sigh. This is going to be a long day.

As it turns out, this day is not only long, but also painfully awkward. No one says practically anything the entire time and yet, when the sky eventually darkens, it's as quiet as I imagine it'll ever be. Not even our breaths are audible and the only evidence that any of us are actually breathing is the mist coming from our mouths. It's as time it-self has stopped completely as we await the broadcast. When the Panem seal does not show for several minutes, I smile. The games are really ov-

The anthem starts playing and the deaths of today are broadcasted. The hope I'd stupidly let myself build is crushed in seconds and for a second, I allow myself to close my eyes and breathe for when I reopen them the games are on again.

The careers and I all grab our weapons and prepare for an attack. I nock an arrow and sadly, I meet Peeta's gaze. I mouth a heartbreaking sorry to the boy who once saved my life. The boy to whom I owe my life. To boy which I'll now kill in order for me to survive. Once again, this boy will have to sacrifice himself for me so I can live. I fell crystal tears form in my eyes.

"It's okay." He whispers. I take my aim. once I fire, I know that the others will attack. They're waiting for me. I'pleading this group in this moment of death.

My hands shake around the metal bow clothed in my hands and just I'm about to release the arrow, something rumbles beneath me. Surprised I look down at the shaking ground only for me to be blamed down in the bloodied grass by a forceful wave from below. Confused, I look up to see the entire sky covered in explosions.


	6. Chapter 6 - Crystal

As I try to open my eyes, bright sterile lights blinds my eyes temporarily, forcing me to close them again. I few seconds later I force them open again and endure the small pain I feel. Soon enough my eyes get used to the bright lights and I notice my surroundings. It looks sort of like a med-bay or hospital but there's no windows and the walls are just plain concrete. No swirly pink flowers on the floor or blue striped wallpaper. There are several beds, like the one I'm laying on, in two rows facing each other. There is a possibility for privacy though, by pulling down a curtain in between beds.

I hesitantly sit up, very weary of my surroundings; never ignoring the possibility of something or someone showing up with a knife. As I get up, I accidentally rip the needle in my arm out and squeak a little at the surprising sting but quickly shut myself up, remembering that I am still on unknown grounds.

My steps, completely quiet from years of hunting back home, leads me down the aisle between the beds and through the door, which opens automatically once I near it. At least that should be a sign that I am not held captive by whatever or who ever it is that is responsible for the cancelation of the games. I have yet to come to terms with that; not that I had that much to really evaluate the matter. What does it mean and who's responsible? Did we escape or are we going back? Maybe there was just something wrong with the arena (like the cameras) and as soon as it's it's fixed we'll get sent back to our deaths just as our hopes have been raised.

My train of thoughts brings me to the others? Where are they? I was alone when I woke up. Pondering about them is not something I want to do for pondering leads to attachment and I cannot afford attachment to anyone that I might have to kill. Surely kill.

It's first as I enter a big room, entirely made out of concrete that I notice that there are no windows anywhere and I cannot help but to wonder where I really am. I explore the concrete room before finding another swoosh-door.

"Hello sweetheart, finally decided to join us, did you?" An un mistakably sarcastic voice says.

"Haymitch?" I ask surprised. What is he doing here? I look around the room I'm in, filled with screens on the walls and stark white lamp attached to the ceiling. There's a glass table in the middle with a screen at each spot which is at the moment occupied by people, most of which I recognize. Haymitch, Cinna, the rest of my fellow tributes and a someone else; a fairly familiar man. There's also a woman of whom I do not know but immediately dislike. Her steel eyes digs into mine and I feel exposed. Her hair is cut to such perfection that I suspect that it's a wig.

"The one and only." Haymitch answers sarcastically, which makes a few people in the room snort. I look around confused.

"What is happening?" I ask no one in particular, casting glances to the other people in my room. They are all clad in different outfits as grey as the concrete wall that seems to be the only color of this building. My eyes falls to Cato and I notice how he's clad in a long-sleeved shirt and cargo pants, much like myself and the rest of of my fellow tributes. he meets my gaze but he does not smirk. He only keeps my gaze and I harden my own to a glare.

"If you sit down, miss Everdeen." The woman says with a hard, stoic voice. "We where just about to start." She glares me down and gestures to the empty chair next to Peeta. I gulp but nod and sit, not wanting to object, unknowing of what consequences it may bring.

"As I said before mis Everdeen joined us," The woman says and glares at me. I shrink into my seat. If someone would've woken me up then maybe I wouldn't have interrupted her. "You are currently in District 13." Uh what?

"District 13 was bombed seventy-four years ago." I say as if it wasn't the most obvious thing in the world. The woman smiles but it lack warmth and does not reach her eyes.

"It was, but we managed to survive by going underground. That's where you're at right now." I only shake my head in denial. This must be a sick joke. I press my nails into my thigh, to keep myself reminded of what's reality.

"For seventy-four years we've remained underground; recovering from the attack of the Capitol. The bombs they used where nuclear, and many of this Districts people suffered greatly. We're still struggling to keep the population steady with so many being sterile. A few years back, we had a massive breakout and many got sick and died; yet we've recovered from it all.

"A while ago, it was decided that we would fight back against the Capitol. We haven't had the resources though. Not until now. That's why we broke you out of that arena. It was our first act of rebellion." She looks proud, as if this is an accomplishment worth praising but my thoughts brings me only to Prim. I volunteered for her so she could live as she deserved. Where is she now?

"What about our families? Snow will kill them as soon as he's able to punish us for breaking out." I say to the woman. I figure she's some sort of high-figure in 13. Maybe their leader even. i shudder at the though. Something tells me that she'd be just as bad as Snow. She has the same aura to her as he does.

"We're working on that sweetheart." Haymitch says but his voice sounds bitter. "Though it could prove to be quite the challenge with mr. Muscle and his companions' families." I look at the people he's referring too. My old allies. Not that I am very fond of any of them. Cato looks irritated and keeps a steady glare at my mentor. Former mentor I guess.

"That'll be no problem. You can just drop us of at our respective district. We want nothing to do with this _rebellion_." His voice is nothing but deep waves of irritation, flooding over each of us. His way of empathizing the word rebellion tells me just how much he despises it though I expected nothing less from a Capitol lapdog like himself. Not that I necessarily support any of this either. What are they even trying to accomplish?

"That won't be an option." The woman's says harshly to Cato and he only stares her down. Under the table he's tying his fist as if trying to control his anger but too be honest I am surprised that he has yet to lash out and kill someone. If he had his bloody (literally) sword right know, I have no doubt that the grey woman would be laying on the concrete floor with her head half a meter away.

"You are, as of the second we grabbed you from that arena, enemies of the Capitol and letting you return to your respective districts would mean an imminent death for all of you." What she says are words of caring but her voice is void of all affection. "Besides, now that you all know about Thirteen and the rebellion, we can't risk letting you leave should you find it a good read to tell anyone about us." So we're practically prisoners then. I look at Haymitch but he purposely avoids my stare. He obviously knows my thoughts on this particular matter. I huff and cross my arms.

"So were stuck here for how long?" I ask her bitterly. My voice makes it obvious of my options concerning the matter. The angry glares directed at the woman does as well. For once we agree on something though I wouldn't bet my money on it happening anytime again in the near future.

"Once the rebellion is over and by over I mean once Snow is dead and the Hunger games are nothing but history, you will be free to move to any district that you'd like." What she says sounds good but almost too good to be true. How they plan on achieving this I do not know and neither can I even guess how long it'll take considering that it took them seventy-four years to start breaking out tributes.

"How long?" Peeta's voice rumbles from my right. He sounds tired but hopeful, something I cannot entirely relate to. I've had to learn the hard way that hope is nothing but an illusion made to keep one in it's place. The games are nothing but a power play of hope. That's why they allow one kid to return home. That way they make sure that the districts do not rebel. That small ounce of hope that their kid might return is enough for them to keep in line after all.

"We don't know but we're optimistic and personally I'm fully devoted and believe in this." The fairly familiar man says. His Capitol accent throws me off a little and it's what makes me remember him. Plutarch Havensbee. He's a gamemaker. What is he doing here?

"Who the fuck are you?" Clove asks. His smile doesn't even falter.

"I'm one of the starters of this rebellion." Is the only answer she gets from him but the woman before us, sensing Clove's rising irritation, answer her.

"This is Plutarch Havensbee. He's a former Gamemaker and has been working undercover for us for many years now." She says, almost praising him and that is the first real affection she's shown. Not that her voice held very much of it now either.

"And for those of you who haven't already figured it out yet; I am the president of thirteen and my name is Alma Coin." So this cold woman has the highest authority in this district. That certainly bodes well.

"So what happens with us now?" Fox face asks her, voicing what everyone wonders. I certainly do.

"You will become official citizens of this district, effect immediately. For now, you will have to share room; girls in one and boys in the other. This will only be a temporarily solution though. As citizens of this district, you will each morning get a schedule on your arm which has been customized for each of you. It will tell you exactly what to do at each hour. Failure to complete given tasks will result in consequeses." Coin stacks her papers.

"Do you expect us to just agree with all of this?" Glimmer screeches, her green eyes flashing dangerously at Coin. The president just stares her down before giving her a tightlipped smile.

"I know you've lived a life in luxury back in one but many of your fellow tributes haven't even had a full meal each day. Here you won't have to worry about food or shelter or sickness for it's all provided for you in exchange for your corporation. So yes, I expect you all to agree with this." Glimmer looks as if she's about to protest but Marvel puts his hand on her shoulder, effectively silencing her up for now. Coin looks pleased at this sign of submission and dismisses us before leaving quickly.

I find myself staying seated while many of the others leave. I stare at y reflection in the clear glass table. I look clean. No blood on my face like I expected. My grey eyes look calm and far from the crazed wild that I felt like during the games. They lack the fire they used to hold. Now they only look empty.

"Katniss?" I jump at the sudden hand on my shoulder. Peeta carefully pulls his hand away. I turn towards him with my empty eyes.

"Are you okey?" He asks me concert and my heart nearly breaks. I just nod but I can tell he does not believe me. When I say nothing else for minutes, he starts to leave.

"Peeta?" I ask him quietly. He turns around hopefully.

"Yes?" He asks with raised eyebrows. His blonde hair almost touches them now that there isn't any products or dirt in it. He looks younger and even more innocent.

"What you said during you interview, about me, was that true?" My voice is quiet and unsteady. I keep my gaze on him and for minutes he does nothing but stand there, looking complexed.

"Yeah." He then answers after a while. I only look at him sadly. So it was true. He loves me. I've always told myself that I would never fall in love or get married. There was too much else at stake for me to ever even consider that a possibility but standing in front of Peeta now I only feel confused. Could I ever love someone, if there were no Games and no fear of hunger?

"Oh." Is all I say and when he notice that I won't say anything else he jus sighs and leave. After a few moments I follow suit.

Thirteen, as it turn out, is a gigantic maze of corridors and it takes me almost two hours until I find the room I'm staying in. Too be honest I am not certain that Glimmer and Clove won't try to kill me in my sleep. My only comfort is that they have no weapons of my knowledge at least but what do I know? Clove could've smuggled in a knife by hiding it in her vagina with her being such a psychopath after all.

"Ah so fire girl finally decided to join us." Clove says as I enter the small compound we've been assigned. I immediately notice that the only bed left is actually a simple mattress on the floor. I sigh but don't under over it too much, I've slept on much worse for the majority of my life anyways. That's probably the only thing I miss about the Capitol. Well that and the food of course.

"I hope you don't mind. We spared you a bed fitting for your class." Glimmer says nastily but one glare from me quickly shuts her up. I could still kill her within minutes. With or without weapons.

"I'd rather sleep on a mattress on the floor than on a bed you've touched." I say, referring to the top bunk she's laying on. "Who knows what kind of STD that would give me." I add and much to my surprise Clove let's out a loud bark.

"Fire girl's got some spunk." She says before throwing herself on the bead beneath Glimmers. What happened to her? Is she like this because we aren't in the Games anymore? I am honestly to tired to even start thinking about caring about their hormonal anger issues.

When everyone else has fallen asleep and nothing but light snores are audible in the small room, I'm still awake. I've never had much trouble with falling asleep but I've slept for the majority of today and the rest haven't been all too exhausting. I know that I should be tired since the Games but it didn't last all that long and I didn't get hurt. Physically at least. My thoughts brings me to the boy from ten and I silently apologize to his family for killing him. He could've been here with us now but I killed him and now he will never get grow up and get married. He will never name any children or get himself a job. He's forever stuck in the games because of me. I fall asleep with silent crystal running down my cheeks that night.


End file.
